……Like most mothers the winds of time blow too swiftly for me. My brain told me when we I gave birth that these two kids would grow up and become adults, but in my hearts I froze them in time and I return to that time when I need a warm fuzzy. I don’t think I’m alone in doing that. I think we all freeze our kids in our mind’s eye at a certain age and that image never leaves us.
…….But, I take it one step further. I love clothes and I really loved kids’ clothes. So my kids are frozen in time wearing my favorite outfits for them. ………Shannon is five, wearing a green pinafore dress with long bangs and puppy tails that extend past her shoulders. There are green bows atop the puppy tails and patent leather shoes on her feet.
……. Doug is maybe seven and he wears the outfit I loved and he hated. He might have been Christopher Robin at that age because he loved everything Winnie the Pooh, Eyor and Piglet, but was not thrilled when Mom came home with beige, bell bottoms with red and green stripes and a turtleneck with matching stripes and the Winnie the Pooh logo. I was thrilled because he was my little Pooh bear. He describes the day he wore that outfit to school as one of the most humiliating days of his life. Not to tell tales, but even though Doug grew up and put his Pooh Bear behind him, he still loves his Winnie the Pooh collection of figurines. And, I would swear to it, but I think he has Winnie the Pooh socks.
……I may have frozen my kids in time, but time marches on despite our efforts to halt it. The past week was a rough few days for my kids as they had a Celebration of Life for their Dad. It was kinda rough for me as well as I wished life was as it should be and I as their mother could have been by their side. But life has twists and turns that we never expect and the best that we can hope for is that love prevails and know that a parent’s spirit lives on in his/her kids.
……One Christmas many years ago, I bought three photo albums and filled them with photos of just Doug and Shannon. I gave one to my Mom and one to my Dad. The other we gave to my mother-in-law. I have my Mom’ and Dads’ now and Doug brought home his Dad. As the brother and sister were going through the album, and revisiting their childhood, Shannon said to Doug, “You were my best friend.” That’s especially true when there are only two siblings. My sister, Marsha and I fought like dogs at times. Separated by seven years and a cultural revolution, we thought we were as different as night and day until our parents died and we realized we were the only ones who knew everything about each other and could ask “Do you remember when Dad…..?” and “If Mom entertained so well, why couldn’t she cook?” Yeah, we were best friends and I sure do miss her.
