………..Like Walter Mitty, I live an exciting life in my head. I conjure up all kinds of situations and adventures mostly when I drive. Inside my head is a fantasy life that has no resemblance to my real life.
…….Yet, I persist. Ever the optimist, I believe that someday my real life will mirror the life that I have drawn in my head.
…….Take Christmas. Christmas is tough for me. It’s chock full of memories that were never that good in reality and plagued with memories of loss and death. Bill died on Dec. 15 forever marking holiday as a time to remember the happiness I once had. I know that life is full of loss and so I continue to put up the tree, decorate to the hilt and conjure up special moments in my mind.
…….My Christma gift to Madilynn and Emilia May is a trip on the Polar Express. Their parents get to accompany them on the journey which starts in Denison, Ohio and takes them to the North Pole. Not only did I buy the tickets, but the pajamas they will wear on the train and the book I plan to read to the girls Thanksgiving night..
…….In my mind it will be an “oh so special moment” full of surprise and awe when I give them the tickets. We will settle down on the couch after Thanksgiving dinner while the rest of the family cleans up in the kitchen.
……..Just like Walter Mitty, I will be the best Nana ever making the pages in the book come alive. Reality never matches fantasy and problems start before I even open the book
…….. “Come sit by me and we’ll read the Polar Express,” I say launching my Hallmark moment. Both girls glanced at me as if I was a leper.
“I don’t want to,” said Emmi May “I’m petting Max.”
“Bring him with you,” I plead “He’ll want to hear this special book.”
Reluctantly. Emmi sidles over with Max in a vise grip lest he escape this special moment.
…….. Madilynn, the sweet child, comes willingly but she glances at the stairs where 8-month-old Thomas is crawling up them like a mountain climber heading for Mount Everest.
“Does Thomas do stairs?” I yelled to his mother.
“He goes up, but coming down is the problem. So, the answer is no. Why?”
“He appears to have made it to the top of the stairs. Someone needs to go get him,” having corralled these kids I know if I get up it’s all over.
Abbi wasn’t buying that, “You are someone. Go get him. We had to let the Nanny go so we’re all in charge of him.”
Sarcasm runs rampant in our family so having been properly chastised, I scoop Thomas up and set him at the bottom of the stairs so he can start all over again.
I sit myself back on the couch; bring out the Polar Express book; and start reading.
The Polar Express is a train and Madilynn immediately fixates on the problems with trains. She knows about trains. They go by her Mimi’s house in Upper Town. She doesn’t like them. They are noisy and dirty. She doesn’t like this book. Why are we reading this book?
I had the answer to this one. “Because the train goes to the North Pole to see Santa.”
And, Madilynn had the question to that one. “Where is the North Pole?”.
I look out the window and point North. “It’s that way.”
Finally an excited reaction. Madilynn jumps up and down and says “Emmi the North Pole is Dollar General.”
I look up to see their mother standing at the door with a dishcloth. “Good job, Nana. I go past Dollar General every time I come here and now they’re going to want me to stop so they can see Santa every time. Nana’s confused girls. Santa does not live at Dollar General.”
Great. I lost my audience before I started reading. Now, I’ve lost my creditability. The tradition is starting to feel like my last election.
“You’ll get hot chocolate on the train,” I tell them and before I know it they’re off the couch and into the kitchen leaving Max to wonder what happened.
I hear them asking for the hot chocolate Nana has promised. There is no hot chocolate in my house. I hear one voice say over the sobs, “Well, you know Nana lies.”
……If I had a white flag I would have raised it then to admit defeat.
…….Abbi feels sorry for me and begins jumping up and down; yelling; and waving the tickets
“We’re going to the North Pole on the Polar Express,” she says as she pulls out the special pajamas. “And we’re going to wear our special pajamas.”
The girls are excited as their mother explains to them it’s my Christmas gift to them.
They talk about how even Daddy will wear the pajamas and then Madilynn has a thought, “We’re not taking Nana are we?”
Nope, I would not get on that train with those kids wearing those pajamas if pigs flew. But, for now I am happy. The gift presentation didn’t go as planned, but life seldom does. The thing with little girls and Christmas is that even when everything goes awry, it’s perfect!
