And the beat goes on
……Just returned from my granddaughter Maggie’s wedding in California. She is named Margaret after my mom, but Maggie suits her perfectly. The wedding was lovely, the ceremony was held outside on the precipice of a breathtaking view of wine county in Viejo. The wedding was a beautiful send off. The ambience was magical and whimsical. The weather cooperated and it was a sunny California day. I was having a great time. And, then the music started.
……There are many things those who know share with you about widowhood. Even if you’ve lived alone before, the sudden aloneness is mind boggling. While there may be someone for everyone, your someone is gone forever and while your heart is grappling with that, your mind is saying “no sir!
……Tasks which used to be shared are now your sole responsibility and what was a mere nuisance in the past is now a monumental feat to be fixed.
……..While you were among those sixties and seventies girls who preached that you yourself was enough and “I am woman, hear me roar,” announced it to the world, Gloria Steinem would be ashamed of you now. You can barely get an audible whimper out.
……It will be three years come December 10th when my status changed. I have adjusted to most things, but must admit there are a few things which make my heart ache.
……Like music and dancing. For a long time I didn’t play music lest a song brought the romance all back. Dancing? Would that there was a switch that turned off the rhythm in you that got your body moving when the right tune came on…….OK, almost any tune. Any song is not good. The slow songs bring memories that are as fresh today as when they occurred and the memory of two bodies moving together to the same beat takes up immediate space in my mind.
…….But the “fast” songs, are the most unfair. We in the baby boomer generation were inclined to dance anytime, anywhere. Unlike the bobby soxers before us, we didn’t need an excuse or appropriate shoes.
…….We danced barefoot in bathing suits. . We danced in our bedrooms to American Bandstand. We carried our music with us so we could bust a move anytime, anyplace.
…….Age and responsibility didn’t stop us. As we married and had kids, the kitchen radio made fixing dinner tolerable as I danced all by myself to the Temptations The kids may have rolled their eyes and my husband may have shaken his head, but that didn’t matter. I could feel the beat and that’s all that mattered.
…….And, now, I’m in the restroom commiserating with the other grandmother of the bride. She too is a widow and while convention tells us both we must have a partner to dance, our bodies tell us otherwise.
……I return to the wedding to find my grandson, Addison, on the floor dancing with no-one in particular and he grabs both his grandmas’ hands and pulls us out onto the floor saying “Come on, just dance.”
…..And, so we do and it feels so good. And the beat goes on
